Oxford Shoppers Left Bemused By Consumer Cult

Via UK Indymedia:

The Cult of Consumerism in Oxford

The Rev. E. Littlehelps, Lord High Purchaser of the Cult of Consumerism, explains in his own words what happened when a group of activists pretending to be corporation-worshippers descended on Oxford City Centre for International Buy Nothing Day.

Thought For The (Buy Nothing) Day
By Rev. E. Littlehelps

“It was half past ten in the morning, on Saturday November 25th. The skies over Oxford City Centre were grey as I waited outside the Temple of St. Clarendon (known to the uninitiated simply as “The Clarendon Centre”), pulling my robes tightly around me. The morning was chill, but I was filled with a fiery purpose. Today was “Buy Nothing Day”, a false festival created by infidels in an attempt to discredit the holy corporate brands; it was our sacred mission to counter their foul sacrilege by preaching the Good Word of The Holy Multinationals to all who would listen. Glorious work, my children. Glorious work.

Some loose-mouthed folk call us the Cult of Consumerism; we know ourselves as the iPostles, and work for the greater good of our wondrous corporate pantheon and all of their noble profits.

As my brothers and sisters assembled around me, my heart soared in anticipation of the great work before us. All five of the Inner Circle were there: Sister Bucks, Preacher Bright, Padre Station, Sister Swoosh and Apostle Macintosh. We began our first incantation (“Shop, Shop, Till You Drop”), to cleanse ourselves of any impure, non-consumer thoughts, and strode boldly out onto the consecrated ground of the Cornmarket pedestrianised shopping precinct.

So many brands, all around us, already glowing neon in the weak morning light! So many small but perfect chapels to consumerism, where even at this hour worshippers were flocking to make their offerings! The rapture was soon upon us, and we began to prostrate ourselves before each gleaming altar, crying our praises to the skies.

Sing praise to McDonalds! We worship you, St Ronald, and your wondrous power, the power to transform rainforests into obese children. All hail Starbucks, and the Sacred Business Model – we marvel at your ability to pay coffee growers 40p for a pound of coffee, keeping them poverty-stricken and fully in your thrall, whilst selling lattes for £4 a cup! All hail Vodafone – we thank you for selling us a new phone every six months when the old one still works, and thus stripping away the planet’s resources and fuelling wars over rare minerals, all in your glory! All hail!”

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